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mental note: never take antonio, gilbert, and francis to the pub. ever. 〗

“Oi, [last name]! Get your ruddy ass over here! We're going to the pub!”

I glared at the door. Yes, the door. That was Gilbert's voice. Gah, I wanted to kick his ass so bad. Oh, wait. I actually did that on fourth year. Never mind. Wait, I never kicked his balls before. That's right. I wanted to kick his balls now; I hope that he doesn't walk for weeks. Jesus, I'd love that. That egotistical asshole was so fucking full of himself. Jerk.

“Gil, I don't think she's there.” Chimed in Francis. “She's probably sleeping. I don't know. That girl can sleep for weeks if she wanted to. And we're fucked if we wake her from her sleep. Remember last time? Yeah, she nearly killed us.” I could almost feel Francis shuddering at that memory. Nobody messes with me when I'm sleeping. You know, unless you want to die or something.

“The chica just wants to have a getaway from all of us. I mean, we've been pretty hard on her, you know? Maybe we should just leave her alone. Poor [name] needs to sleep. She hasn't slept in days! I don't know how she does it.” Oh, Antonio. He always knew what to say. At least there was someone who was being considerate to me. If I could, I'd give Antonio a small kiss. But no, I'm not doing that. That'd be weird. “Then again, we need her to pay for the drinks..”

Wait, what? Did Antonio literally just say that?

Fuck Antonio (not literally).

“Exactly! Which is why we need her.” Gilbert exclaimed too loudly. I winced at the volume of his voice. Was he that loud during sex, too? Yeesh, I sure do hope not. Why would anyone even have sex with him in the first place, anyway? God, I'd pity you if you lost your virginity to him. “Someone needs to drive us, too.”

Gilbert, being the jackass he is, continued banging on the door in hopes of waking me up. But I was already up; I just didn't want to open the door. Because a) I don't want to pay for their drinks b) I don't want to drive them, either and c) there's like a 85% chance that I'd have sex with them. Again.

Oh, right. That one time— all the four of us got piss-drunk and ended up having a four-some. What a night.

Let's not talk about that night.

“[Name], my love! Where art thou?” Gilbert called out.

I sighed as I hesitantly stood up from my couch. I slept on the couch because I was fucking tired. Christ, I was still wearing the clothes I wore from yesterday. Work wasn't fun. Why was work invented? Right. To have money. Ugh, why can't everything just be free? I don't like working my ass off.

I turned the knob of my door and cracked it open to see three idiots grinning at me like stupid idiots (But the thing was that they are idiots).

“I'm busy.” I lied. Nice lie, [Name].

“Since when the hell are you busy?” Francis laughed. Git.

“Since I began working.” I replied nonchalantly. Now that the four of us were already in college, we needed to take care and be more responsible. Ha. Me. Being responsible. At first, that sounded funny because I knew I'd never be responsible. But here I am. Living at my own flat. And getting a job that actually pays well (Surprising, right?).

“Have a little break from working, then!” Antonio chirped happily.

“Let's all get piss-drunk. Except you, [Name]. You can get drunk but not that drunk because we still need someone to drive us. And you know us, we can never be responsible as you. And, the three of us love you to bits so just come with us.” Gilbert leaned over to me and dropped his head on my shoulder. “Please. Come with us.”  

I opened my mouth to say something but no words came out. Gilbert was acting all gloomy, Francis was looking at me and I'm pretty sure that's body language for 'If you don't come with us, then I'll kill you because I really need to get myself drunk', and Antonio was just.. being Antonio. It's hard to explain, alright? Jeez, give me a break.

Should I?

No, [Name]. Absolutely not. You're a strong, independent girl who ain't no need no man.

But then Gilbert was pleading. He said please.


I hate them all.

“F-Fine.. But—”

Gilbert immediately turned back to his happy, egotistical self. He grinned and hugged me tightly, and I had a hard time breathing. I think Gilbert was trying to suffocate my lungs. Poor lungs. The albino male finally let go (Thankfully) and gave me a quick kiss on the cheek (How sweet). “Thank you, [Name]! You're the best!”

“To the pub, we go!” Francis and Antonio declared.

I was already regretting this.

3:35 am

Needless to say, the three of them got drunk. Like, really drunk. And I ended up driving them back to my flat because I was tired and I just needed to sleep. Besides, it's not like this was the first time. They did this every time when they got drunk.

It was also a pain in the ass to carry their heavy selves back to my flat. I felt like as if I'd murdered someone.

“You smell soooo nice, [Name],” Antonio said groggily, inhaling the sweet scent of my [h/l] [h/c] hair. Apparently, he had described it as 'a sweet fruity smell that makes me want to have sex with her'. I mentally rolled my eyes at that.

“I agree with Antonio,” Francis said, his mouth still smelled like alcohol.

“Oi! Stop flirting with my woman!” Gilbert argued, swinging his arms around which only made it harder for me to walk because I had to carry their heavy asses back to my flat. Fortunately, I wasn't that far.

“She ain't ya woman!” Antonio yelled back. Drunk Antonio was funny as hell but he was possessive when it came to things like this. Drunk Gilbert was twice as annoying as sober Gilbert. And drunk Francis was.. erm, let's not talk about drunk Francis.

I let out a relieved sigh as I (we?) arrived to the front door of my flat. I quickly searched for my key in my purse. God dammit, key, where are you? I asked to myself, frantically looking for my keys. Shit. It was too dark.

“Ah, ah, ah,” Francis began. “I think we all made it clear that [Name] here is my woman. So back off, losers. She's mine. For the whole night. Or forever. It doesn't matter, I'm keeping dear [Name] here.”


I felt the familiar metal in my fingers— the key! Thank Jesus. I grabbed the key from my purse and opened the door instantly, kicking it wide open so the three of us could enter the shitty place of what you'd call my flat.

“She's not ya woman—”

I slammed the door shut and the boys continued on their petty argument.

I, [Name] vow to never take them to the pub. Ever.

Giving up, and restlessly tired, I slumped myself on the couch. My eyes slowly began to drop and I was slowly drifting off to sleep. I could still hear the arguments on the background, but I didn't care. I was fucking tired and all I ever wanted was to rest.

And I didn't even had any alcohol this day. (I wanted to get drunk too. But Gilbert kept giving me the 'eye'. Which basically means that he didn't want me drunk because 'I'd end up snogging someone' and they needed me to drive them home. Fucking toerags.)

They owe me big time.
they're assholes but i love them 

wrote it in the reader's narrative because i thought it'd be funnier that way
Add a Comment:
Darkkitten2708 Featured By Owner Aug 24, 2015  Hobbyist Artist
.... Yeah I don't think anyone in their right mind would want a drunk France 
Cinnamon-Badass Featured By Owner Mar 30, 2015
Satoshi Pout Icon Stressed out and they don't do shit. Puppy yawns 
RemotelyInControl Featured By Owner Jul 17, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
I was a little surprised at 'again'
transformicerawks11 Featured By Owner Jun 19, 2014  Student Digital Artist
'there's like a 85% chance that I'd have sex with them. Again'
'a sweet fruity smell that makes me want to have sex with her'

Ok I wouldn't mind having those times with Toni but a FOURSOME?
Gurl you know I don't have that many ho-
oh wait
btw I love this and I love you for making this
braveheart290 Featured By Owner Jun 18, 2015
Your comment made me giggle

at 3:30 am while everyone was sleeping......

juju956 Featured By Owner Dec 4, 2014  Hobbyist Digital Artist
You also have a belly button don't forget the button of the belly look see 
-lifts up shirt points to belly button-
melodysinger123 Featured By Owner May 14, 2014
Part 2 please :)
Gnostalgic-Void Featured By Owner May 14, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
maybe u w u
CrystalMapleLeaf Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
This is so me... I'm acting like Shikamaru, too... Hah, who am I kidding, this is me down to a T. Good job, writer.... -Falls asleep at my nook-
TerraAreli Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
...then what can we talk about? XD all the things you don't want to talk about is interesting
if they cant remember anything i would say that i confessed to one of 'em let them freak out.
then again..maybe that's not a good idea so done 
WendyMarvel1010 Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2014  Hobbyist General Artist
Time to rip my hair out!! XD
shrekygirl6898 Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2014  Hobbyist Filmographer
oh my doitsu! i was laughing the whole time i love this. is there gonna be a part 2?
Gnostalgic-Void Featured By Owner Apr 28, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
Whiskerednineh Featured By Owner Apr 27, 2014
Oh my god, this whole thing is pure gold!
Add a Comment:

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Submitted on
April 26, 2014
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